Words

I am presently reading and really enjoying the wisdom in this book by Christopher Germer. In one chapter, he presents lists of words denoting positive and negative emotions and contrasts their effects. Not surprisingly, positive emotions have been shown to make us happy and negative ones make us suffer: cultivating positive emotions is a compassionate thing to do for ourselves. I was struck by the collective impact of these words on my mood by simply reading them aloud. I have gone back to these pages a few times and the effect is always the same.
I love words! I still have the Thesaurus (scuffed, dog-eared, missing a few pages, torn cover) given to me by my grade 7 home room teacher, Mr. Hiscoke. He was big on words and deserves some of the credit for the enthusiasm I still feel when I find just the "right" word to express myself. All this to say, that in reading Germer's lists of emotions, I was reminded of the 10 most beautiful words in the English language prepared by lexicographer, Wilfred J. Funk (son of the founder of Funk & Wagnails, publisher of dictionaries). These words get around. I was first introduced to them in Elizabeth Hay's novel, Late Nights on Air. Here they are, see what you think: hush, dawn, lullaby, murmuring, tranquil, mist, luminous, chimes, golden, melody.
As a bit of an experiment, on occasion I have sat at the bedside of a restless patient and spoken these words aloud, slowly & quietly to see if they soothed. I believe they did have some effect.

Prairie Soulmate

Song for a Winter's Night

Composed by Gordon Lightfoot, Sung by Sarah McLachlan

The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top

The snow is softly falling

The air is still within the silence of my room

I hear your voice softly calling

If I could only have you near

To breathe a sigh or two

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you

 

The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead

My glass is almost empty

I read again between the lines upon each page

The words of love you sent me

If I could know within my heart

That you were lonely too

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim

The shades of night are liftin'

The morning light steals across my windowpane

Where webs of snow are driftin'

If I could only have you near

To breathe a sigh or two

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you

And to be once again with you

Dying & Choosing to Stay at Home?

1. Distribute a list of essential numbers to those who can get the word out if you need help.
2. Get to know your neighbors.
3. Ask for help & schedule your friends (and neighbors) in a rotation of support duties.
4. Make children a part of your life. Feeling young is a jolt in the arm.
5. Get your paperwork in order - Keep your will, advance directive, power of attorney documentation and financial details close at hand.

Taken from Chatelaine, April 2007. The article was entitled "Lessons from Adele" and authored by Cynthia Brouse. It outlines how one woman who was unmarried, childless and living alone managed to rally a social support network that enabled her to stay at home until her death from lung cancer. Very useful advice and a heartwarming, true story. To enlarge, tap the "full" button underneath the article.

Metta

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you live with ease

Follower's Widget

eBlogger recommends adding a Followers button to encourage all readers to become followers. I added this button today, in the sidebar. I approached blogging with some hesitancy at first, incrementally permitting greater exposure to the WWW as I became more comfortable with the concept. I am enjoying reading other's blogs and learning from them as well, perhaps those of you who read this blog feel the same way. I extend a warm invitation to you to become a follower.

Taking a Spiritual Inventory

The full text by Kathleen Dowling Singh can be viewed by clicking the link above. In her words, " It is not too late to take stock of our lives, even in the last weeks and days of terminal illness. And for those of us in the midst of life, in the apparent safety and security of our health, it is not too early. No matter how much time we have left to live, the answers to the following questions, voiced in the quiet honesty of our own hearts, provide direction to the rest of our living." 
Who have I been all this time?

How have I used my gift of a human life?
What do I need to "clear up" or "let go of" in order to be more peaceful?
What gives my life meaning?
For what am I grateful?
What have I learned of truth and how truthfully have I learned to live?
What have I learned of love and how well have I learned to love?
What have I learned about tenderness, vulnerability, intimacy, and communion?
What have I learned about courage, strength, power, and faith?
What have I learned of the human condition and how great is my compassion?
How am I handling my suffering?
How can I best share what I've learned?
What helps me open my heart and empty my mind and experience the presence of Spirit?
What will give me strength as I die? If I remembered that my breaths were numbered, what would be my relationship to this breath right now?
These questions are contained in the "End-of-Life" tools found on the PBS website devoted to journalist Bill Moyer's 4-part series "on our own terms" that aired in 2000.

Compassion Fatigue

I attended a one-day conference on this topic in late November. The speakers delivered excellent presentations, thoughtful and insightful commentary taken from their real-world experience in helping professionals who are involved in palliative care. Both David Kuhl and Françoise Mathieu quoted Remen (1996):

"The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet."

The comedian Susan Stewart offered wisdom in a hilarious monologue, impressive for both it's content and duration (no notes). Amongst her questions to us, "Have you ever stood in the shower looking at the cream rinse bottle, wondering if you had already put the conditioner in your hair?? Why do we lose track??" The answer... Because in our minds we are already at work, "showering" with our patients. In moments like this, the self-care experts say it would be more beneficial to simply feel the water on your body, be mindful of the warmth and take the opportunity to stay in the moment with self awareness. It is hard though. This morning in the shower, I was reminded of the Remen quote. I was thinking about the sweet face of the 30-something patient, wife, sister and mother, contorted with suffering, imminently dying from a metastatic cancer that she has battled for 6 years. It will be possible to help a bit more with the pain but the real anguish is not physical.

Online Learning

I have come across two websites recently, each with a catalog of learning modules that have been prepared with multidisciplinary input. The first is the Online Cancer Education Forum, designed to provide continuing education for cancer professionals practicing in different countries. Readers of the European Journal of Cancer Care are first informed of a new topic by way of an abstract in the print version of the journal. The abstract provides an overview of the topic and a link to the body of the module. The module downloads easily and contains:
An introduction to the topic
Learning objectives
Background information
Learning activities& thinking points
Links to resources required to complete the activities

View current topics
The second is the Current Learning in Palliative Care site. Tutorials are designed to be completed within 15 minutes.