Compassion Fatigue

I attended a one-day conference on this topic in late November. The speakers delivered excellent presentations, thoughtful and insightful commentary taken from their real-world experience in helping professionals who are involved in palliative care. Both David Kuhl and Françoise Mathieu quoted Remen (1996):

"The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet."

The comedian Susan Stewart offered wisdom in a hilarious monologue, impressive for both it's content and duration (no notes). Amongst her questions to us, "Have you ever stood in the shower looking at the cream rinse bottle, wondering if you had already put the conditioner in your hair?? Why do we lose track??" The answer... Because in our minds we are already at work, "showering" with our patients. In moments like this, the self-care experts say it would be more beneficial to simply feel the water on your body, be mindful of the warmth and take the opportunity to stay in the moment with self awareness. It is hard though. This morning in the shower, I was reminded of the Remen quote. I was thinking about the sweet face of the 30-something patient, wife, sister and mother, contorted with suffering, imminently dying from a metastatic cancer that she has battled for 6 years. It will be possible to help a bit more with the pain but the real anguish is not physical.